Thursday, August 12, 2010

baby steps

last night i was able to get our daughter off to sleep in her own room and crib. at just under 5 months, she's at that stage where catch phrases like "self-soothe" and "cry it out" start cropping up in conversations.

although she started out in her bassinet each night, i would usually bring her into bed with me to nurse. from there, we would usually end up falling asleep (until recently when i started to make a point of putting her back in the bassinet afterward). we have a queen-sized bed, so you can imagine how comfy i am with my husband on one side taking up half the bed and my wild little sleeper kicking and stretching on the other side. it’s hard to believe that she was once so small that the fear of rolling over and squashing her in my sleep used to keep me up nights.

back to last night: with a few disastrous attempts at sleep training under my belt, i felt a growing sense of dread as we got closer to bedtime. i was pretty much convinced that this time would be just as difficult. but to my surprise, instead of being met with the crying and squirming of past attempts (including the night before last when i decided to try a mish-mash of popular sleep training methods), she laid there quietly for about 5 minutes and then drifted off without so much as a whimper.

i expected to be ecstatic that we were able to reach this milestone, especially after only a handful of attempts. instead, it was a quiet moment that was more than a little bittersweet.

i already miss seeing that sweet little face and having the security of hearing her every minute breath and movement during the night. she’s only a few months old and already needs me less.

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